Mad Woke Daily

A fresh wave of hysteria has crashed down on former President Donald Trump after he suggested peace talks to end the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

Progressive outlets and pundits have lost their marbles, slapping him with labels like “extreme fascist war-monger dictator,” claiming his push for a ceasefire is exactly what a bloodthirsty tyrant would pull. CNN analyst Jake Tapper claimed on his show last week that “nothing screams war-monger like trying to stop a war—and we as a nation should all band together to stop him and his madness.”

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is sweating bullets over Trump’s peace pitch, worried he’ll lose the billions in aid that’s been pouring in to keep the war machine humming. Without a conflict to justify the cash, Zelensky might have to start performing gay drag again like his early days, and he has been vocal about his hesitancy to do so, citing that his “abs aren’t what they used to be” and “I have been eating too well these last few years!”

Mad Woke Daily hit the streets to get the scoop on this wild turn of events.

Retired defense contractor exec Richard “Dick” Warbucks, 62, seemed unfazed by the drama, “The industrial military complex is doing just fine, thank you very much! We’ve got contracts locked in for years—why mess with a good thing? Trump’s peace talk is a buzzkill for business, plain and simple.” Meanwhile, liberal activist Karen Shrieker, 39, was practically vibrating with rage, “Trump is a monster! We must stand with Ukraine and let them keep fighting—no matter how many die! Peace is a betrayal of democracy, and I won’t let that fascist dictator ruin everything!”

War hawks are doubling down, pushing for more sanctions and weapons shipments, while Trump’s peace pitch gets buried. Mad Woke Daily can’t help but wonder if this’ll end with more missiles flying—or just more hot air from the talking heads.