Mad Woke Daily

Chaos has erupted across urban centers as Tesla owners, once thrilled to glide through city streets in their sleek electric vehicles, now find themselves unraveling over Elon Musk’s public fall from grace. In a strange twist of events, these individuals are taking out their rage on their own cars—smashing their windows, and setting them ablaze while driving as part of a nationwide protest against Elon.

Mad Woke Daily tracked down some of these individuals to get firsthand information. In New York City, Democrat and Tesla owner Stan Clark, 55, was seen smashing his Model 3’s windshield with a brick outside his Brooklyn brownstone. “I bought this car to fight climate change, but now the media says Elon’s a right-wing monster!” Clark wailed, tossing a Molotov cocktail at his own trunk. “I can’t be seen supporting him—I’d rather drive my neighbor’s 1987 Pinto that leaks oil every three blocks!”

Over in California, Pamela Perkins, 64, a Silicon Valley photographer, was spotted dousing her Model Y in lighter fluid before striking a match. “Elon was supposed to be our green savior, but the media says he’s evil now, and I can’t process it!” Perkins sobbed, watching her Tesla begin to go up in flames, as she climbed into her vehicle she screamed, “I’m done—I will have to just ride off to my fiery death. I HATE YOU ELON!”

Perkins was not available for any further comments after her death.

In Seattle, Theresa McNeal Ramsdell, General Manager of Tesla Motors Washington, was seen driving a beat-up 1992 Geo Metro with a bumper sticker reading “Up with EVs, Down with Elon.” “I loved my Tesla, but since the media has told me Musk is a bad guy, it has me so confused!” Ramsdell admitted, as her Geo Metro backfired and coughed up a cloud of exhaust. “I can’t separate Elon from the car, so I traded it for this piece of junk—it’s the only way to stay true to my progressive values and do exactly what the media tells me!”

Auto analysts are left stunned as Tesla owners sabotage their own vehicles, with some even filming their fiery meltdowns for TikTok clout. The irony of environmentalists abandoning their eco-friendly EVs for gas-guzzling death traps seems lost on them, but their rage shows no signs of slowing down for now.